the end is just another beginning

honestly speaking, 2014 wasn’t a very good year – especially towards the end of the year, i sunk into a dark phase and i forgot how it was like to be okay or happy. pretty sure not all of you know this and this might come as shocking, but on the bright side at least i managed to make it through the year, stayed alive and all. yes, there were many fun and unforgettable memories, but i guess things happen.

2014 was a year of traveling, i went to many countries (malaysia, japan, china, thailand) and thoroughly enjoyed myself on all of the overseas trips. especially Nanjing GCP’14, it was 2 weeks of unlimited fun and it was liberating to feel so carefree and just enjoy the present instead of endlessly worrying. it was an eye-opener for me and a breather from life in Singapore; all the initial fears I had due to the fact it was a backpacking trip were gone once i was actually there, many people were friendly and hospitable and willing to help. there would be a lot i could write about Nanjing, but i remember it for the good memories and that’s enough for me. (shout out to pun family, you guys made it 10 times more enjoyable!)

2014 was also a year of meeting new people. till now i still can’t believe a year has passed, it seems like i have known some people for a really long time, but at the same time it’s also surreal how much time has passed, along with the many things that happened. i got to meet a lot of amazing and wonderful people who were really kind to me and i am really grateful because i’m not so much of a social person so it’s not easy for me to come out of my bubble and make new friends. i still remember before the start of 2014, i was so afraid i would be alone again because none of my close friends were going to the same class as i was, it was an irrational but real fear that sometimes still haunts me. but i’m glad i got opportunities to meet people, to get to know everyone and i’m happy to have more friends than i expected, it’s overwhelming but in a good sense.

i could list all the memorable events, like nygh funfair when i painted half my face, thinking day parade and national day parade, birthday which was somewhat uneventful but my family friends came over with a home-baked cake, yiruma’s piano concert along with all the concerts/performances i watched with weitian on friday nights, running the 4×400 medley which was absolutely crazy, be yourself day, birthday celebrations aka visiting charlotte, post EOY celebrations aka eating at a nice cafe and crashing at charlotte’s to have a movie marathon, teachers’ day celebrations in which i had fun both at nygh and my primary school, hanging out with friends (qty, main ot4, having weitian crashing at my house and vice versa), ATC’14, AFA’14, celebrating new year’s eve with childhood friends. but writing out all these in detail would be really troublesome i guess and i’m admittedly pretty lazy.

i just want to say i’m very thankful for people who were there for me, or are there for me, who stayed (or didn’t), at least you were a part of my life and i should appreciate that. you all have been very sweet and accepting, when i didn’t know how to be happy or love myself, you all told me otherwise and encouraged me and maybe that’s how i got through the year. so thank you very much, i love you all too and i know this is cliché but i feel like i should express my gratitude anyway. so thank you!


special mention to :

weitian for being the best friend i could ever have and giving me constant assurance and validation; for telling me that you’re always here and asking what’s wrong, giving me encouragement and i’ve only known you for a year but the times we spent together makes me feel like i’ve known you for a very long time and i wouldn’t know what i would do without you. ❤

yun ning for being a really kind and accepting friend who listens to me talk about everything and anything even though we met through the internet; you are important to me and you can talk to me whenever as well okay! ❤

tejuan for being a constant source of encouragement and positivity. you’ve always been cheering me up whenever i’m down and sorry for making you start all the conversations – same goes for everyone – but thank you for the conversations. ❤

rachel koh for trusting me and for being tolerant; personally i felt that ATC’14 was an unforgettable experience and i really have to thank you for being there with me throughout most of the journey. i’m honestly going to confess that i never really felt included in cca sometimes, so thank you! you’re a great friend, and i love your writing. ❤

jacqueline for being encouraging and i know we haven’t talked in a long time, but thank you for the old conversations and also for cheering me up and helping me see that maybe things aren’t that bad and even if they are, there are others who are with me. you are the turtle to my rabbit ❤

mindy for being really sweet to me and maybe we aren’t really close, but thank you for your hugs and all on the day that i cried really badly in school! ❤

gina and yixuan for being constant support and just being there for one another when any of us got upset or when life sucks, it is a precious friendship and i’ll treasure it. looking forward to the times when we hang out! ❤

hearts for all the other people who i didn’t mention here due to the lack of time or things to say, hope that even though the year ended, you’ll still be here for 2015 and years to come. i haven’t been the best and sometimes i still feel like i’m undeserving of everything i have, but i’ll try to be a better person this year.


(looking at last year’s new year’s resolutions, i did fulfill most of them, i made new friends, i wrote more, i just didn’t manage my time really well. well, working on that!)

new year’s resolution:

1 write, write and write : this is still a thing i want to continue, my writing’s still kind of mediocre. maybe i’ll start on bigger projects if possible!

2 do nice things for people : i would like to make more than just a few people happy, so i guess nice little surprises are in the way.

3 take care of my grades : it’s a pretty important year and i wouldn’t want to disappoint my parents, or myself. not like i could afford to screw up anyway, so i guess i better buck up.

things to look forward to in 2015:

1 cosplay plans (john egbert, possibly aradia megido)

2 birthday (a good day for me to be okay)

3 chinese new year and various holidays

4 celebrations like nygh funfair and youth day

5 room decorating

6 more fun times with friends (museum hopping, cafe hopping, crashing at houses, whatever.)

7 traveling again because i like the refreshing experience of being in a different country

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