hot and cold

we were meant to be worlds apart, the possibility of crossing borders
do not cross my mind. my blood runs on the adrenaline rush from
illegal activities, defiance and rebellion. the heart beats
at a rate faster than my legs, i can feel hot sparks at the heels of
my weathered feet. yours meanders through arteries like
gentle rivers, obedience to all and trusting that the course will
naturally, bring you to the desired destination. your heart thumps like
the muffled sounds of a drum, unwavering rhythm at
a relaxed pace. you should not have met me,
red isn’t a nice colour on you, i should have known from the start.
you are dangerous, i should have slit your throat
but i didn’t want to stain my hands with the
spill of your life. you grew into me like weeds invading
a long abandoned shed and since then i could tell that
you would never leave because these hands of mine aren’t,
they aren’t gardener’s hands. maybe i should have fixed the
hole in fence before you had the chance to crawl in, maybe
i should have tried harder, to keep you out and keep myself safe,
keep you safe. i risked meeting you, i will not risk losing you.

i still cannot comprehend how hot and cold could coexist but
maybe that’s why when i’m with you, everything feels lukewarm and everything is alright, tentatively. maybe not for long, but for now and now is all that matters.

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