mind you, dear

at first i just wanted to touch you,

as lightly as a falling feather.

but it wasn’t enough.

i desired to occupy the spaces

between your cold fingers and soon –

the void that resides in your heart.

then i craved to carve my words

onto your beating heart, with

bleeding guilt and self-contempt.

it wasn’t enough.

i ached to etch my name, over and over again,

into your mind, through your thick skull,

breaking bones and demolishing

the surface i have worked so hard to defend.

but “mind you, dear” was just enough –

enough to wake me to my senses

and let logic and rationale take over again.

the obstinate heart sighs, and resigns to its fate.

the mind reigns again, i think, with a throbbing pain in the chest.

the things you do to deceive yourself, the heart thinks.

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